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Discipline of Marriage
Study on Chapter 3 of Disciplines of a Godly Man (R. Kent Hughes)
- Christian marriage vows are the inception (시작) of a lifelong practice of death, of giving over not only all you have, but all you are. (page 35)
- In fact, those who lovingly die for their wives are those who know the most joy, have the most fulfilling marriages, and experience the most love. (page 36)
- She becomes as real as we are to ourselves. She is me. (page 38)
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Food for Thought
Marital Love and Death
(Q) Do you agree with Mike Mason’s analogy between marital love and death? Why or why not? What does your love for your wife demand of you? Are you willing to pay the price?
(A) I didn’t think that much and ignorant on that. However since the bible commands m that “love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up to her” I should be willing to pay any price. And I agree with Manson’s analogy between marital love and death. As it says it claims everything; Jesus gave himself up for the church.
- (Ep 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Connect with Her
(Q) Do you generally feel what your wife is feeling — her joys and sorrows, her mountain peaks and deep valleys? What can you do to let her know that you want to “connect” with her emotionally and spiritually?
(A) I feel some of what my wife is feeling since we have lived long. But I can’t say I feel my wife feeling as much as I feel mine. Again, I didn’t think that is necessary, which is wrong. We do most of church activities together including evangelism; praise God on that and I will keep doing that to “connect” with her. I will more consider her more intentionally. Talk and listen to her more in love.
Praying
(Q) “Praying is the marital work of a Christian husband.” Do you agree? How often do you pray for your wife? With her? What can you do to make this more of a habit?
(A) Agree. But I have not prayed for her much. We tried to pray together a few times but didn’t go long. I need to work on this. I need to be humble, loving and not to be judgmental.
Spiritual Growth of Wife
(Q) What are you doing currently to help your wife draw closer to Christ? List at least six specific things you will do within the next two weeks to help your wife grow spiritually.
(A) Discuss sermons/teaching of Pastor Manny. Memorizing bible verses together. Attending prayer meeting. encourage for bible study. Do evangelism together.
Will pray for her and pray together … And keep doing above with more love.
Love Himself
(Q) What happens to a marriage if a husband doesn’t love himself? What does it really mean to love oneself, biblically? How will such an attitude show itself practically?
(Ep 5:28-30) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
(A) For this question, “love himself” is not about selfishness but about caring oneself. I feed myself with food and feed for spiritual needs. Study bible, discipline myself, prayer … So if a husband doesn’t love himself he can’t live so the marriage won’t go well properly.
All Do in Love
(Q) How do Colossians 3:14 and 1 Corinthians 16:13, 14 apply to your marriage? Be specific.
(Col 3:14) And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (1 Cor 16:13,14) Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.
(John MacArthur) Act like men. I call this be mature. Be mature. “Quit you like men.” That simply means to act like a man. It’s an interesting word appearing, I think if I remember correctly, only here in the New Testament. Yes. It’s the only time it’s ever used, but it’s used in the Septuagint and translated often, “Be of good courage.” So it has the idea of courage, but it also is used in reference to maturity. Those both are in it. The idea of courage and maturity, but then again aren’t those almost co-equal? A child, somebody immature tends not to be courageous. A mature person tends to be courageous. A child tends to be rather fearful. A mature person tends to have a sense of control and confidence. And that’s essentially what he’s saying. You should be courageous men, grown up and mature. “Conduct yourself in a manly way,” might be one way to translate andrizō.
(A) love her courageously and maturely; like love myself. Her pain is my pain; her joy is my joy; her goal is my goal which is to love and glorify God. We, as one flesh, help each other and walk together to achieve that goal.
Applications
Application/Response
What did God speak to you about most specifically, most powerfully in this chapter? Talk to Him about it right now!
(25) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Gave himself up for her.
Thanks God for letting me know this and understand. Now it’s my turn to obey His command. Because I love Him I will obey; please give me a strength to obey.
Think About It!
Read Ephesians 5:22-33, then write a few paragraphs on the spiritual meaning of Christian marriage. What do the wife’s submission and the husband’s love have to do with one another? What does the relationship of Christ and His Church reach you about your marriage?
Christ is the head of the church. Christ purchased the church with His life. Christ cherishes the church. The church is the bride of Christ. Christ and the church are united.
Our marriage should be same; the wife and the husband ought to be united as one body. Wife submissive to the husband, the husband sacrifices. All those should be in love, love each other and love God.
Questions
How we balance between God’s mission and family (wife)?
