Discipline of Fatherhood

Study on Chapter 4 of Disciplines of a Godly Man (R. Kent Hughes)

(Ephesians 6:4) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Food for Thought

Memory of My Father

(Q) What did you expect or want from your father? Has this happened? Why or why not? What do your children expect or want from you? Is this happening? Why or why not?

(A) Sadly, there was no father to me. He was there but no memory of him except sometimes upset to his wife, nagging at meal table; he enjoyed all kinds of his leisure things. So I didn’t know what to want from father, because he was not exist as a father who can do something for me. But ironically he think he is the most wise person. So it's very difficult for me to respect him as a father, as bible commands. to honor him; I maintain relationship for since he is my father but I don't think I have love to in my heart yet; I have compassion on him for he is rejecting true Gospel.

I didn’t want to pass down those to my kids. I spent more time with them than my father did. But I don't think it went well. My problem that I did my own ways. I also did lots of activities my own. I didn’t have quality time for my kids.

After become Christian, we talk. Still struggle but have a hope. I did my most apologies to my kids. And, praise God, I have hope; I am Christian and my kids are Christians so we have hope - should be better. Triangle! I sometime wish if I become Christian earlier. But still I have lots of room for improvement and time.

Do Not, Do

(Q) Are you living out the “do not” and the “do” of Ephesians 6:4?

“Do not” list (page 51): my status 1 (worst) -10 (perfect)

• Do not be critical. (4)
• Do not be overstrict. (6)
• Do not be irritable. (6)
• Do not be inconsistent. (7)
• Do not show favoritism. (6)

“Do” list

• Tenderness (6)
• Discipline (5)
• Instruction (3)

(A) In cases, I was doing opposite - did more on “do not”, didn’t do on “do” without knowing that was wrong. Now I see “do not” are natural (easy) and “do” are unnatural (difficult). So hope is I come to know my problems and have desires to fix them., and have Jesus to pray to.

Too Strict or Too Lenient (관대한)

(Q) As a father, are you too strict or too lenient? What can you do, practically, to become more balanced in this area?

(A) I was more too strict. Also another basic problem was I wanted to spent minimum time with them; compare to work and to my time. More love is needed. Put time and effort on them; knowing their things. pray for them … Then I believe God gives the wisdom.

Favoritism

(Q) Do you ever make the same mistake as Jacob and Joseph (favoritism)? How can you stop doing this? What should take its place?

(A) I thought I didn’t have favoritism. But I watched the video I took when my boys were young, I see favoritism. Need to love them. Be honest that I am a sinner and not wise.

Train up a Child

(Q) What does Proverbs 22:6 teach about parenting? Does the principle of Scripture still work in today’s world?

(Proverbs 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

(A) We have a responsibility to train them for their future well-being. Yes, I think, the principle still works in today. I believe the Bible should be authority over my life, and over all our life.

Eli’s Error

(Q) What error did the priest Eli make in relation to his sons? How are you doing in this area? How can you do better?

(A) he failed to restrain them; failed instruction

First I need to know what is sin not to be wrongly strict. And if I do see their sin I need to confront them - gently but firmly.

Applications

Application/Response

What did God speak to you about most specifically, most powerfully in this chapter? Talk to Him about it right now!

I need wisdom & love. Also need to get over feelings on my father.

Think About It!

List some of the attributes of your Heavenly Father, as described in the Bible. Which of these should be emulated by you as an earthly father? List specific ways each of these should be practiced in your life with your children. Then share your findings with your sons and daughters.

• Love: study their interest, ministries, friends ...
• Righteousness: my conducts should demonstrate
• Faithful: "
• Holy: "

My Questions

• Physical discipline is not mentioned in the book, what do you think about physical discipline?
• Discipline of grown-up kids?
• How much we can do to grandchildren? As a grandpa not as a father (direct parent).